Still disappointed

I'm listening to the Sherlock & Co podcasts again, reluctantly. I've said before that I dislike these podcasts, but I keep listening to them, hoping they'll eventually get to "Speckled Band" or do something remarkable/original in their modern updates on the Canon. But it's a really hard slog because they make Watson into such a bumbling, rambling comic relief, and they bloat the episodes with so much filler content that they think is humorous. It got really egregious in The Red Circle, where the story was simply a mafia story, that had no relation to the Canon story. They didn't even make use of the story's clever ruse where this man rented a room, then sneaked his wife in there, forever in hiding from the landlady, while he tried to fight their enemies. Despite using character names from the Red Circle, they used nothing else; it's like when they totally skipped the case from Study in Scarlet. So yeah, that's two Canon stories you've failed to do, you lying podcasters!

Now I'm trying to get through the ten-episode Sign of Four adaptation, which is the podcast's 1-year anniversary, so they keep looking back with what-ifs and things. I know what they're trying to do, but they waste several minutes on Watson stammering and refusing to contact Mary Morstan because he doesn't want to revisit who he was before that "fork in the road" when she stood him up at the Criterion Bar. They just needed something simple like, "Um, well, I don't want to. It'll be awkward. She never responded to me when I texted her back then, so maybe she won't want to hear from me." Clear and to the point, then they can talk him into it. But no, they waste five minutes on Watson not being able to articulate. He's the fucking writer. Why can't you make him articulate? And frequently in the podcast he'll say, "I'll edit this out later" but he never does. He never edits. He puts things up as is, no edit. I hate that. All this shit, and I still don't know why they changed the pearls of the story to diamonds, other than maybe to reference the Koh-i-Noor diamond that the British stole from India.

Then in part two Holmes forces Watson to leave the flat in his pajamas for a burglary thing, and also forces Watson to sit in a bicycle basket for the ride. The fuck? It's ultimately for a joke where Watson rips his pants and is caught bare-assed by police, who think "it's some weird sex thing" when they arrest him. What the fuck??!!! Holmes couldn't wait five minutes for Watson to change into proper clothes, and he couldn't call them an Uber or other cab for transport? No, because the podcast's goal is to ritually humiliate Watson to be the stupid comic relief. I hate you fuckers. And then they waste more minutes for Watson to lampshade the colonial "ooh exotic India jewels" storyline, saying he's uncomfortable with it. Will you fucking shut up already? Just give me the damn plot, and not this meta commentary. This stupid Sign of Four story better be worth it, but there's already bloat in how they are building up Mary to be John's big love interest. Why couldn't you tell the story in say 5 eps? What's so fucking special that you need 10 episodes? Fuck you.