More BBC Radio Holmes

I've continued listening to more of the Casebook stories, and I'm nearing the end of my CD boxset. I've gone though MAZA, 3GAB, SUSS, 3GAR, THOR, CREE, and LION. I don't remember which ones were written by Bert Coules, but I think other writers like Roger Danes wrote some of these radio-play adaptations. Their version of LION wasn't as bad I feared it would be, but it was a strange way to force Watson into the story.

But let's start with MAZA, in which they also did something weird. The play The Crown Diamond featured the villain Colonel Sebastian Moran; in the short story "The Mazarin Stone," Doyle changed the villain to Count Negretto Sylvius. The BBC writer did not attempt to restore Colonel Moran to the plot, but they did write out Billy the page boy, and substituted Mrs. Hudson for Billy's parts. The story begins with Lord Cantlemere and a police inspector supervising the arrival of the Mazarin Stone; someone attempts to rob them, but he only dislodges the jewel and gets arrested. (This will later be revealed to be Ikey Sanders, who was actually a jewel cutter, not a thief, in the short story.) Lord Cantlemere takes possession of the stone, intending to have it repaired/restored to its setting, but his safe gets burgled and the stone is taken. So Lord Cantlemere reluctantly hires Holmes, and they argue about it. Oddly, Ikey Sanders doesn't "peach" on Sylvius. He keeps quiet in hopes of a promised payout if he'll just take the fall and go to prison for the jewel theft.

Finally Watson arrives on the scene, quite late in the story. He makes reference to his marriage to Jean, and he visits 221B because Mrs. Hudson is concerned about Holmes not eating lately, and working too hard on the case. Mrs. Hudson shows Watson the dummy of Holmes, reminiscent of the bust he used in EMPT. Holmes interrupts them, warning them away from the windows. They discuss the case for a while, then Holmes sends Watson to fetch Scotland Yard, and they do use the weird secret exit through the bedroom. The Count arrives, but does not try to smash the dummy because he isn't fooled. He spars with Holmes about his disguises, then Mrs. Hudson fetches Sam Merton the boxer/henchman. Holmes offers his deal to let them go, then goes to his bedroom to play violin. The villains talk, and the lights go out (this is from the play's special effects, and makes much more sense than the story omitting the blackout); Holmes grabs the stone and reveals that he replaced the dummy when the lights went out. He explains the electricity now installed in Baker Street, and Merton doesn't seem that astonished by the gramophone; he just assumes that some other bloke is in the bedroom still playing the violin. Anyway, the police arrive and disapprove of Holmes's deal to the villains. Holmes plays his prank on Lord Cantlemere, but it's summarized because I think they ran out of time with their extra scenes of the jewel robbery. I guess they didn't care about Billy the pageboy and wanted a showcase for their Mrs. Hudson actress.

In their 3GAB adaptation, they did their best to remove the racism from the story. Holmes no longer insults Steve Dixie's smell or his "woolly hair"; he just refers to Dixie's muscles and mentions the suspicious death of some Perkins fellow that he claims Dixie was involved in. Dixie speaks more naturally and threateningly, and he only turns meek when Holmes alludes to Perkins. At Mrs. Maberley's house, Watson is one who discovers Susan Stockdale listening at the door, and he's the one who mentions her wheezing. Another change is that we actually meet Langdale Pike; that's a good choice, but for some reason Holmes introduced him to Watson as Charles Gable or something like that, and claimed he was an old university friend that Holmes did a favor for. Why wouldn't Holmes just say, "This is Gable, alias Langdale Pike, the famous society gossip writer"? What was the point of being mysterious about that? I also didn't like Holmes dragging Pike to the house of Isadora Klein as an extra witness to her confession. The ending implies that Pike then writes up the story, creating a scandal that foils Klein's marriage to the duke. I don't think that's satisfying at all! One could argue that Klein was just trying to get rid of Douglas Maberley who was stalking her and going to publish a revenge novel. Isn't he equally a villain? They should have left that ending alone, where Holmes agreed to look the other way.

The SUSS adaptation was stupid. The writer made Watson credulous, actually believing in vampires. He spends half the story reading from Bram Stoker's Dracula as if it is in anyway helpful and based on truth, rather than just a popular novel. Stupid crap. At least the show gave Mrs. Bob Ferguson an actual name Elizabetta, but it kept playing with the idea that she can tell fortunes and has mystical powers. It also implies that Bob Ferguson is violent to his wife and that he locked her up in a building on the grounds, not that she locked herself in her bedroom away from him. When Holmes reveals the truth, he lets the husband and wife make their own decision on Jacky. He only talks to Watson later about "a year at sea" and Watson is skeptical. Awful, awful adaptation.

I had hoped for more from 3GAR, as most Sherlockians love the "worth a wound" scene, but instead the scene is awkward and fast, with Watson stammering casually to Holmes about it. There's no pause, no swelling music, no nothing to linger over Holmes's "great heart" and his concern for Watson. Once again Bert Coules destroys slashy scenes because he doesn't want to deal with the implied love between them. There's a later scene where Holmes tries to bandage Watson's wound, but Watson gets irritated with him and does it himself. Instead of slash, Coules depicts Watson buying an engagement ring, watching a random couple flirt on the street, and then telling Holmes that he's going to propose to Jean Chisholm, a doctor's daughter. That's all the information we get on Watson's second wife, and Holmes hardly reacts. Then there's scenes of poor Nathan Garrideb going crazy and ending up in a nursing-home. Garrideb also had an interest in bees, and apparently Holmes decides to go into beekeeping because of this. Instead of, you know, listening to Mrs. Saunders's warning that old eccentric men shouldn't live too alone with their hobbies.

I don't know why, but they mangled THOR too. In the story, Holmes dismisses Gibson the Gold King, then talks to Watson until the guy comes back, tail between his legs, and finally submits to questioning about Grace Dunbar. But in the BBC Radio version, Gibson doesn't come back. He refuses to hire Holmes and even gets angry when Dunbar's lawyer contacts Holmes instead. What the fuck is the point of this added conflict? Otherwise the story is fine, though of course, they omit the slashy scene on the train where Holmes playfully puts his hands on Watson's knees; I guess it wouldn't have worked anyway without visuals, but they could have kept Holmes's teasing dialogue as part of his theatricality. They did cut out the local policeman though.

In CREE, they amplify Edith Presbury's shock and unease with her father getting engaged to young Alice Morphy, who has been her friend since childhood. The writers imply that Alice has a suitor her own age, but she broke up with him and is going to marry the professor to be a spiritual/intellectual companion to him. She does not want to have sex with him, though she puts it in delicate terms. The writers also make much of Professor Presbury climbing to Edith's window and almost opening it; Watson and Bennet talk themselves into believing that the professor likes climbing walls regardless of his daughter's presence. They pretend that the professor climbed to her window "by chance" though there is palpable fear that he had incestuous impulses. After the dog attacks Presbury, he revives and somehow talks despite his damaged throat; he's still defiant until he tries to stand and then collapses. Only then does he admit that he shouldn't have taken the monkey serum. Creepy.

And now LION. It starts out with Holmes narrating the story, talking about "the occasional weekend visit" and his remarkable case. But the main story does not commit to Watson being gone. Instead Watson is visiting Holmes in Sussex and they have a very stagey conversation of deductions. It took me some time to finally realize that they are reading the dialogue for William Gillette's stage play, and Holmes seems to like it. He's a little surprised by the ending with the romance with Alice Faulkner, but he doesn't seem outraged at all. He shrugs it off. But why are they reading the play at all? The play premiered in 1899 and was on stage for years in both America and England. Holmes was still in active practice in Baker Street. They could have discussed the play at any time. Why do they wait until Holmes is retired to Sussex? By Bert Coules's own timeline, Holmes has been retired since about 1903, and LION itself is usually dated 1906 or so. Gillette's play is old news, and there won't be a film adaptation for years. There is no reason for them to discuss this play or debate how Watson is portrayed.

Finally Holmes takes Watson to visit the beehives, but he can see that Watson is bored. So Holmes decides to tell Watson about the Lion's Mane case, which apparently happened 10 days ago. Holmes tells him the whole case and acts out the parts of everyone from Harold Stackhurst to Maud Bellamy. I guess it's supposed to be cute that Holmes is going through all this trouble and playing a game with Watson to see if he can solve the case, but to me it feels stagey and weird just like Gillette's lines. Watson is not allowed to linger at all on his jealousy of Holmes making friends with other people. Meanwhile Holmes lingers over his description of Maud Bellamy, and he asks Watson regretfully about what he gave up as a detective, as if he's thinking of romance with a woman. Weird. Watson solves the case, then Holmes sends Watson home with a written account to read; Watson hopes he'll be able to visit again soon. The story's ending is not enjoyable because I can look ahead to LAST, which implies that Watson and Holmes will not see each other again for years.