Tuesday, October 16, 2018

So Bad

I watched the live-action Cinderella for the first time, and my God, it sucked. Slow, boring, and the actress mainly just breathed hard whenever she was excited or scared. So many scenes were derivative/stolen from The Slipper and the Rose, or the animated Sleeping Beauty. About the only good part was the Captain of the Guards, and the fact that some African and Asian princesses were invited to the royal ball, but that was only a fleeting glimpse.

It's bad enough that Cinderella's dress is made blue, when it was originally sparkling silver in the cartoon, but the transformation scene where the fairy godmother changed the pink to blue reminded me that Aurora's dress was blue/pink, transforming back and forth throughout Sleeping Beauty. Cinderella has stolen both her dress colors, and now has even stolen her "meet the prince anonymously in the woods" meet-cute too. Fuck Disney. I don't want to watch the Ralph Wreck-it movie with the Disney princesses in it because I'm afraid it's going to screw over Aurora yet again.

Kenneth Branagh sucked big-time as the director of this movie, just like he sucked in the Poirot adaptation he cast himself in. It's starting to make me wonder how he ever got a reputation as a good director. Thumbs down again to him.

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